Evolving in Monkey Town, Part I: The Blog

A favorite blogger of mine, Rachel Held Evans, is having her 1st book released. Zondervan Publishing sent me a pre-release copy of her book for review as part of the Blog Tour.

I'm doing a 2-part review. This part will touch more on her blog. The 2nd part will be the straight-up book review.



This book made me feel less crazy.

....we'll get to that in a sec.

But first, some exposition ;)


A few years ago, I googled "homosexuality" and "Christian" and ran across this post~ "An Evangelical's Response to Homosexuality."

So that's how I found my way to Rachel Held Evans' blog, "Evolving in Monkey Town."

Here is why I stayed~

This was what I'd been waiting for- an evangelical who is asking outloud, "What if I'm wrong?"

Those 4 words = doorway to dialogue; connection.

Now to be fair, I have had extraordinary conversation after extraordinary conversation with people about "'The Gay' & Christianity," one on one. And, it is always a combo moving experience/relationship strengthener . (I keep expecting the worst out of people and they keep proving me wrong.)

Thanks to those interactions, I knew that people were open (often eager) to talk about this or any other "controversial issue." I just hadn't seen many everyday Christians posting about it on their own volition...yet.

"Out there," in the media and "mean interwebs," we hear a lot from the extremes.

Too much.

Meanwhile, beneath the fray, something else has been going on between the extremes ...in the middle. And when we talk with other Middle People, it gets interesting. We learn. We connect. Maybe not always, but often. And it is So. Worth it. ...because it's real.

And it's why Rachel scores so highly on connectability/relatability.

She is writing from the middle. She hasn't landed. She's mid-step. (read her book & you'll know what I mean by, This is her, as she leaps her way across the swamp.) She doesn't have the safety & security of typing, "...and here is where I landed."

She is in transition. Evolving.

And she's taking us along for the ride.

Looking at it from another angle, she does not fit squarely into any camp. She's venturing across lines..... in no mans' land. Which, it turns out, happens to be populated after all.

Chances are, this is where you come in.

Because if there's one thing I've heard time and again about Rachel's writing, it's "I could have written this! ...if I were more talented."

We carry on

Babs RARELY txts.

A chaplain at a busy hospital and mother of 2 grown kids, she only txts when she wants to ...which is just this side of never. She's aloof like that. (By the time a woman hits 50, she learns to guard her time & attention.)

I don't really know what possessed her to send me a txt recommending that I watch the video for "Welcome To the Black Parade," by My Chemical Romance. (again, this chaplain & mom is in her 50s, so... how is she listening to something that just reeks of goth/emo?)

Drawing out the suspense, I was stuck all week with a computer that refused to play video. So, the txt remained on my phone, as a reminder to check out that song... eventually.

In the meantime, another week passed. Another chuck out of another year.

And once again, I've found myself face to face with June 18th... the night everything changed.

It's been 13yrs since the accident. 13 yrs since things ended for Shelley. June 18th, 1997 is the moment that cuts my life into a "before" and "after."

I never know how to observe this day. Mostly, I just want something... a moment... that feels like I've honored her life, the toughness of going on after that, and something that provides a little boost of hope or sense of mission to propel me into the future.

And, today, I was at a loss.

Until I remembered that txt.

Which lead me to this.

On June 18th.








When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.

He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the savior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"
He said "Will you defeat them,
your demons, and all the non-believers,
the plans that they have made?"
"Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join The Black Parade."

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the savior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
And when you're gone we want you all to know.

We'll carry on,
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it.

A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all.
So paint it black and take it back
Let's shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end we hear the call

To carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches

On and on we carry through the fears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces of your peers
Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause I could not care at all

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it's who we are
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who had to sing this song
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
I! don't! care!

We'll carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches on

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on)

Do or die, you'll never make me (We'll carry on)
Because the world will never take my heart (We'll carry on)
Go and try, you'll never break me (We'll carry)
We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on)

So-Called "Christians" Part I

A funny thing happened when Jennifer Knapp came out.

I was expecting the comments questioning her faith in light of her "I'm happily ensconced in a longterm relationship with a beautiful woman" announcement. Many drug out the air quotes to drive home their point. She wasn't REALLY a Christian. She was a so-called "Christian." And, by the way, so were all the other so-called Christians who didn't believe that she was going straight to Hell and taking most of Christendom & Country with her.


What kept throwing me were the comments that led-off with the "so-called Christian" quip followed by something like about these so-called fake Christians who spend their time judging gays rather than reflecting God's love.



I was getting a case of mental-whiplash.

"Wait, now.... which are the so-called Christians?" Pro-gay? Anti? Sin? Not a sin? Which sin? judging or homosexuality or being a meanie.... oye! My brain! My soul.



Something tells me, this can't be us Christians at our best.

Someone whispers, "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."



Sounds like a plan.

Well, technically, it's a command. (John 13:34-35)



I spent a while pondering the strife and commenting frenzy. I'll post my conclusions (more like, where I took it from there) in Part II.


Meanwhile, please.... leave a comment! Did this stir anything up for you? How should brothers & sisters in Christ handle their differences of opinion on emotionally charged issues? Does it matter? What is at stake? How do you conduct yourself when you get worked up over an issue you feel strongly about?



Lastly, and mostly for my amusement, some random comments from articles on JK~

Face it Jennifer. If you believe you are a Christian, you profess to maintain certain moral standards. With your God-given gift and high profile comes a higher standard of moral and ethical responsibility ("...to whom much is given..."). These responsibilities do not include subverting the minds of your young loving and loyal fans with morally unacceptable creedences. I appreciate your honesty... I hope you appreciate ours.

Knapp can't honestly expect real christians to believe that she is ... both a christian and a lez ... the two are incompatible. As noted by another smartalecky commenter, "With God, all things are possible."

Jennifer Knapp has a tattoo also. That explains everything. God clearly says "don't put tattoos on your body" Knapp is no Christian. which i thought was a joke, but wasn't.

These comments are the WORST display of "Christianity" that I've ever seen...Christ said let the first one without sin cast the first stone. A lot of you are casting stones that should really be on the receiving end. (Some of you are even casting boulders... how are you that strong? Must be the holy spirit!)

I would like Jennifer Knapp's address so I can send her so-called christian cds back to her. OHHHhhhh! and the inanimate objects take a hit!

Let's stop talking about burning in hell and love each other. Godslion, you spelled absurd wrong.

The obligatory Hitler tie-in: I am sure that Hitler "felt" mass murder was the right thing to do.

Finally, a personal favorite: While it certainly does sound like Jennifer is a sweet and loving human being, it does not seem that God is her all in all.

Too much!

Jennifer Knapp coming out made me so happy that I stopped posting.

My writer's block comes when:

A. I get feedback

WHAT?! Someone's READing this?! ....the "world wide web" concept hasn't sunken into that part of my brain that only believes what it sees. I can't see them, so they can't see me.

Paradoxically, I still crave comments. So, please, add yours.

B. Something gets me so excited that I feel like I can't possibly express it in writing. So, I stop.

That was the case with Jennifer Knapp's announcement last month. And, I still can't write about that. Maybe another time. (don't you love suspense?)

But, I'm gonna get it back into gear. Mostly thanks to the prodding of my bff from high school, Alise.

So, raise your coffee mug and let's hear it for getting the ball rolling....

And, for friends!

Meanwhile, do you have anything that triggers writer's block? How do you fix it?

(as millions of english comp/writing teachers cry out from the ether with a resounding, "Discipline!" Ugh, I know.....)

Heartbreak

Idler: Type 1 & Type 2

Treasure!

I just stumbled into quotes of Vincent Van Gogh.

This one, especially, will be sticking with me.


"There is a great difference between one idler and another idler. There is someone who is an idler out of laziness and lack of character, owing to the baseness of his nature. If you like, you may take me for one of those. Then there is the other kind of idler, the idler despite himself, who is inwardly consumed by a great longing for action who does nothing because his hands are tied, because he is, so to speak, imprisoned somewhere, because he lacks what he needs to be productive, because disastrous circumstances have brought him forcibly to this end. Such a one does not always know what he can do, but he nevertheless instinctively feels, I am good for something! My existence is not without reason! I know that I could be a quite a different person! How can I be of use, how can I be of service? There is something inside me, but what can it be? He is quite another idler. If you like you may take me for one of those."

Not so beneficial. Not so equal.

What I learned yesterday.

IF gay & lesbian partners are covered under their partners' insurace:
1. the insurance company may charge more b/c they are not recognized as "married" under federal law
2. those benefits are then taxed as income, unlike married couples.

My friend had her excitement at benefits turn to huge sticker shock when she ended up owing and extra $2000 in taxes. Surprise! :(

In the United States of Ameria.

One of the 1000+ benefits that gay couples are denied because that cannot legally married.

Will Phillips - take a little risk. get into a little trouble

.


Well, kinda bummed that they removed the "Husbands and Husbands" vid from Youtube.

So, here is another young man who has clearly done some thinking and reflecting. And, then he chose to ACT.

I hope his words spring to my mind when I need a little nudge out of my comfort zone.

Thanks Will!

Husbands & Husbands

So glad to see that make the news.



This is so sweet.

I can't think of a thing to add.

Enjoy~

-thanks to Alise for posting it to my facebook page!

Who are you?

Season 3 Premiere, "Anne."

Let me set the scene for you- Buffy has been captured and thrown into a dungeon. .... remember that part in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where all of the villiage kids were kidnapped & turned into dead-eyed slaves to work the mines, looking for those glowing Stones of Power? It's basically that.

Buffy gets lined up with the rest of the new prisoners on the block. The guard goes to work- dehumanizing them, rooting out all hints of "who they are" and grinding them down, until.... they are no one.


Guard: You work, and you live. That is all. You do not complain or laugh or do anything besides work. Whatever you thought, whatever you were does not matter. You are no one now. You mean nothing.

(to boy) Who are you?

Boy#1: Aaron. (gets bashed to the ground)

Guard: (to Lily) Who are you?

Lily: No one.

Guard: Who are you?

Boy#2: No one.

Guard: (to Buffy) Who are you?

Buffy: (beat... suddenly eyes turn from dull to confident/mischevious)

(perky) I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are...?

(She knocks him out)

Buffy: Anyone who's not having fun here, follow me.


Sometimes we need a Buffy- we shake our groggy head and rub our eyes and wonder how we ended up down in the dungeon. A few words from the reigning bully reminds us of how we got here. We faced a choice: be yourself and prepare for a smackdown, or accept "nothingness" and slink to the shadows.

Sometimes, we are Buffy, and we need to enter that dungeon, stop the bully and remind the captives that they are free. They are okay. They just need to remember who they are.

Dinosaur

.

Thought I'd kick the week off with a short story.

This came in the mail today.

It's too good not to share.

Dinosaur

a short story by Bruce Holland Rogers

When he was very young, he waved his arms, snapped his massive jaws, and tromped around the house so that the dishes trembled in the china cabinet. "Oh, for goodness' sake," his mother said. "You are not a dinosaur! You are a human being!" Since he was not a dinosaur, he thought for a time that he might be a pirate. "Seriously," his father said to him after school one day, "what do you want to be?" A fireman, maybe. Or a policeman. Or a soldier. Some kind of hero.

But in high school they gave him tests and told him he was good with numbers. Perhaps he'd like to be a math teacher? That was respectable. Or a tax accountant? He could make a lot of money doing that. It seemed a good idea to make money, what with falling in love and thinking about raising a family. So he became a tax accountant, even though he sometimes regretted it, because it made him feel, well, small. And he felt even smaller when he was no longer a tax accountant, but a retired tax accountant. Still worse; a retired tax accountant who forgot things. He forgot to take the garbage to the curb, to take his pill, to turn his hearing aid on. Every day it seemed he forgot more things, important things, like where his children lived and which of them were married or divorced.

Then one day, when he was out for a walk by the lake, he forgot what his mother had told him. He forgot that he was not a dinosaur. He stood blinking his dinosaur eyes in the bright sunlight, feeling its familiar warmth on his dinosaur skin, watching dragonflies flitting among the horsetails at the water's edge.

Hope- on it's way in from Left Field

Boy, help comes from the most surprising and unexpected places at just the right times.

Just reminds me that you can work and work and feel like you're not getting anywhere, and then, just over the next hill, there's Rob Reiner with the Calvary!

"Of all the people arriving at the gay marriage trial, none was more unexpected than Hollywood's Rob Reiner. In fact, Reiner is financing much of the legal expense on the gay side and he recruited conservative lawyer, Ted Olson, to the team. ...fundraising was done quietly without the knowledge or help of traditional gay rights groups"




and one hill after that, Cindy McCain!

Tony Hall- How Faith Works

I have thought of former Congressman Tony Hall time and again since reading his book a few years ago.

He is against hunger.

He talks about how he grew into a person of faith, and how the relationship he had with God and Jesus wove through his experiences in Congress and his own life.

His stories of dealing one-on-one with both Democrats and Republicans were encouraging examples of cooperation based on what we have in common.

This vid is worth the watch, but if you don't have 20mins, here's the point:

Do the thing that's in front of you.

Click here for the video.

Anne Frank, Miep Gies, and you

.

“Not a day goes by that I do not grieve for them," said Miep Gies, who protected Anne Frank, and saved her diary.

She carried those memories and, I'm sure, grieved for the Franks every day. And now she's gone. It's up to the rest of us to remember them and tell their stories; and Miep Gies.'

I was just thinking of those closer-than-you-realize connections and my college gospel choir director, La Joyce.

We would always sing for the Martin Luther King, Jr Convocation on campus. We'd hear those famous words reiterated, and distinguished speakers (Dr. Samuel D. Proctor, the 1st time) would remind us of the importance of what he did, as giant pictures of the key people and events from the Civil Rights Mov't would flash across the screen on stage. Martin, Rosa Parks, fire hoses...

It was years later, dropping in on a rehearsal, with all of us bunched around the piano, that someone asked,

"Miss LaJoyce, tell us about Mrs. Parks again."

Then, LaJoyce- who I've known for YEARS- suddenly recounted how, when she was a child, they would go up to Detroit and visit relatives who lived on the same block as Mrs. Parks. And, when the kids were given money for the candy store, she'd try to hurry past Mrs. Park's house. But it never worked. She'd always, almost make it, and then hear,

"La Joyyyyyyyyyce?"

And LaJoyce would miss out on her candy run b/c Mrs. Parks would ask her to come inside. Then, they would have tea and Mrs. Parks would ask her to recite Bible passages. (and, I bet, sing)

I was blown away.

A year later, at the MLK Convocation, I heard those words and I saw those pictures flash above the stage, and LaJoyce standing with the choir on the stage, and I realized: They -MLK, Mrs. Parks, Dr Proctor, all of 'em- were just regular people, who we just missed, via being born a little late and in another place. But our friends and family and neighbors DID know them, or go to listen to them, or had tea with them, and we are all. so. closely connected., and that what we do matters immensely.

And, even if we aren't living those lives, we can tell their stories. ....over and over. (it's better than reality television)

Meanwhile, keep your eyes open and those stories close... you never know....

No one can predict those moments that, in hindsight, appear to be an encounter with destiny - Mrs Parks wasn't expecting to be "Rosa Parks: Icon of the Civil Rights." And what Miep Gies saw was a family in trouble, and a pile of papers that belonged to a little girl...

~~

It's with a heavy heart that I read LaJoyce's announcement on facebook today:

On January 9, 2010; my mother ,Minne P. Daniel, passed from this world into glory. She is at peace now and left a legacy of phenomenal proportion. She is the most amazing woman I have every known. She gave so much love and was loved by so many in return. Thank you for her life and her witness. Please pray for my family.

If you're so inclined, keep them in your prayers. Thanks

Interview with Marriage in America re: gay-marriage

Prof. Nancy Cott is currently testifying in Perry vs. Schwarzenegger, the "Prop 8 Trial."

She's an expert on the history of marriage in the US.

Here's the blurb from NPR's Fresh Air page, from 2004.

"Cott is a professor of history at Harvard University. She testified before Vermont's judiciary committee. Vermont became the first state in the country to make civil unions legal for gay and lesbian couples. Cott is the author of Public Vows: A History of Marriage and the Nation (Harvard University)."

Bear Cam

Lily, the Black Bear, is hibernating and expecting cubs anytime.

She's denned up under a log in Ely, Minnesota.

You can see her here:

http://www.wildearth.tv/static/bearden

As I type this, she's sleeping.

I expect that will be the case for a while.

close encounter

Okay, I WISH I had taken this.

After a Classic day in the woods, I wanted to find a picture that would help me remember it.

2 days ago:

The hills and woods were draped in a heavy snow. Everything was muffled. As I sat on my backpack on the ground with a book, snow flakes piled up on my clothing and caught in my eyelashes. 26 degrees. My rifle -who never complains about the weather- settled in for the long haul; the most perfect Stoic I know.

Hours passed. As I read, the pages got soggy and snow accumulated in a line between the pages.

Glancing up now and then, things were quiet, with occasional limbs dumping their load of snow.

Then I saw a blocky figure of a deer in the thick stuff across the valley. Then another. Then another. I watched as the deer made their way through piles of snow, pawing down to the brown leaves underneath.

Deer can be incredibly slow-moving. Oh, they can rip through the brush and bound across fields. But, when it's cold and darkness is falling and you must hold still, don't be surprised if they take their time.

Add to the scenario: I'm not keen on shooting any of them. Yes, I like to eat them. Yes, they get hit on the road and damage crops. Yes, we paid for licenses and gear. My head knows that. But I'm not Spock. Or my gun. I have a hair-trigger heart.

I bought myself some peace of mind with my choice of hunting spots. I set up near the posted land. So, a deer would have to meander down the hill, across the draw and over to my side of the valley before I could, by law, shoot. At that point, they'd be really close to me and probably smell me or sense that something was amiss and then show some of that speed.

Tonight, however, they did cross. I slid around and propped my gun up on my knee and watched through the scope. Through that little circle, I waited for deer to step out from behind chunks of tree trunks. And they did, time and time again.

I am getting good at coming up with excuses not to shoot- brush in the way, wrong angle, wait for a bigger one, wait for them to go up the hill so I won't have to drag them up later (gross, I know, but reality)..... the list is ever growing.

Meanwhile, they kept heading on a steady course... right. to. me.

Finally, a new and exciting excuse: how close will they come?

Hunting from a treestand is one thing- even if they are right under you, you are still 25 ft or so above them.

From the ground, you're looking up at them. And, in theory, nothing's stopping them from walking right up to you (and possibly trampling you... if they knew what you were planning).

So there I was, frozen and snow covered (best camo-job yet) and here they came.

Cresting a small dip, a puffed up yearling (like the pic above) strode right up to me. At 6 yds, she juked her head (their version of a double-take) and zeroed in on me. Then she relaxed- maybe she thought she was looking at a poor hunter who'd frozen to that spot.



The moment became too much. With a quick dart to the right, she doubled back, leading her mom and sister back across the snow-thickened woods in awesome silence.

"If we knew each others' secrets, what comfort we would find."

I have a friend who is going through a tough time right now. The courage she's embodying to face this head-on is inspiring.

By revealing her "weakness," she's given her friends the opportunity to share her burden. And, for that, I am grateful.

She shared an especially touching txt that one of us sent. And, she got the words a little mixed up.

I prefer her version. It describes the very best in our friends.


"If we knew each others' secrets, what comfort we could bring."

Hall Pass

Certain concepts from High School have stayed with me.

For example, when my flight's delayed and I'm stuck at the airport, or I'm sitting on a tattered old couch in the office/waiting room of my mechanic while my Tracker "goes for a ride" on the lift (he LOVES it up there)... I am in study hall. Books open. No talking. Txting becomes the equivalent of passing notes.

Really, I'm in heaven. No complaining. I may have stuff to do and places to be, but right now, I'm here; an in-between moment. Just like study hall. I can make lists, plan, call people, but I prefer to take this hemmed in piece of the day to explore, daydream, read, and wonder. I enjoy the breather.

And this morning, I remembered my Hall Pass.

When I hear that voice inquire, "Ms. Ciampa, shouldn't you be doing something?" I flash my pass.

Signed by Mr. Wordsworth. (... who i met in high school.)


Expostulation and Reply

"Why, William, on that old grey stone,
Thus for the length of half a day,
Why, William, sit you thus alone,
And dream your time away?

"Where are your books? --that light bequeathed
To Beings else forlorn and blind!
Up! up! and drink the spirit breathed
From dead men to their kind.

"You look round on your Mother Earth,
As if she for no purpose bore you;
As if you were her first-born birth,
And none had lived before you!"

One morning thus, by Esthwaite lake,
When life was sweet, I knew not why,
To me my good friend Matthew spake,
And thus I made reply:

"They eye-- it cannot choose but see;
We cannot bid the ear be still;
Our bodies feel, where'er they be,
Against or with our will.

"Nor less I deem that there are Powers
Which of themselves our minds impress;
That we can feed this mind of ours
In a wise passiveness.

"Think you, 'mid all this mighty sum
Of things for ever speaking,
That nothing of itself will come,
But we must still be seeking?

"--Then ask not wherefore, here, alone,
Conversing as I may,
I sit upon this old grey stone,
And dream my time away."

i'm back

starting now