Sea Kittens

"I don't see fish as sea kittens; I see them as food," says 12-year-old Chastity Haskins.

PETA rebrands fish as "sea kittens."




I'm having flashbacks to my high school friend Jill. When she wasn't imploring me to have our cats fixed, she was pleading the case of the sea kittens.

...which reminds me of the time she had to euthanize her own sea kitten.

While working towards her Masters in Physical Therapy, she got herself a Chinese Fighting Sea Kitten.

At some point, it came down with a disease and it's fins fell apart.

Eager to meet every challenge that came her way, she put her new skills right to work. She created a physical therapy program for him, in which she would drag the tip of a toothpick across the top of the water. Being a fighter, not a lover, he would muster up enough energy to chase it around. (also reminds me of an encounter with a weasel at a Wildlife clinic I interned at.... another time)

Against all odds, she was able to coax him through his time of grave illness. It was impressive.

But then, I got a phone call.

"Never leave your fish alone with something that is called a 'White Convict!'"

She had bought her sea kitten a friend. And it ate him.

Well, not totally.

But, after its extensive stint in rehab, this Chinese Fighter was no longer a Contender.

A difficult decision had to be made.

She said her goodbyes. And, being Catholic, I'm sure she administered her own special version of Last Rites. Then, she carefully scooped him up and ran down the hall to the bathroom where she had a towering stack of Anatomy books waiting. (flushing was cruel)

*****

If you were watching this on TV, the camera would now cut to the hallway. You would see baffled co-eds wondering what was with the girl who just blew past them.

And then, you would hear something resembling a war cry, followed immediately by a thundering, slightly squishy, SLAMMMM!!